Paper Airplanes For Mom

Angelo, age 4, was beginning to adjust to the idea that he was going to be adopted by his maternal grandparents because his mom had given up her parental rights. She was struggling with substance abuse. Claudia, a Wayfinder mental health therapist, was helping Angelo work through his emotions.

Despite her struggles, Angelo’s mom, Emilia, was trying to get her life back on track. She saw her son often. Then Emilia committed a serious parole violation and was sent to prison for years.

This shook Angelo’s already unsteady world. Grandma heard Angelo crying in his sleep. He refused to talk about his mom in therapy sessions. When Emilia called from prison, Angelo would not talk to her. 

One day, out of the blue, Angelo said to Claudia, “Mom’s in jail.” He worried what might happen to her. “I gave him space to talk about his fears,” says Claudia. “I used art-based therapy.” They made social stories—pictures with simple language that help children understand an event—of his mom in prison. 

“The social stories taught Angelo that there were systems in the prison to keep his mother safe,” Claudia says. After a while, Angelo agreed to talk to his mom when she called. 

Sometimes Emilia was unable to phone regularly. Claudia and Angelo created paper airplanes with drawings on them for Emilia. They threw the paper planes across the room to “send these to mom,” Claudia remembers. “We would laugh about the airplanes because they never flew.”

Talking to Claudia, the grandparents came to terms with their own emotions about their daughter being in prison. They learned to support Angelo.

As his loss and sadness eased, Angelo did not cry in his sleep as often. In their sessions, Claudia frequently asked him, “What do you do when you miss mom?” Angelo responded, “I can make a plane,”
or “I can draw a picture.” As he progressed further, he answered, “I can talk to Grandma.” Claudia knew the family was ready to graduate from the program. 

When the adoption was finalized, the family sent Claudia a photo of the three of them in the courtroom, beaming. Grandma’s note said that Angelo was starting kindergarten. Claudia was very touched. “Being kept in the loop felt like they wanted me to be a part of their lives,” she says. 

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December 27, 2024